Reflection

It's funny how we wait for special times to reflect on our lives. Birthdays, anniversaries and the ending of a calendar year. When I was a little girl I would watch my Grandmother as she sat in her old metal chair in her yard. She would sit for an hour or more just looking out over the back pasture of her farm. I wondered what she was doing! Wasn't she bored? How could she just sit there for so long...doing nothing? One day, as our summer vacation was coming to an end, I asked her what she was doing. I will remember her answer for as long as I live. She said that she liked to sit outside where she could hear all of the nature sounds. She said that it calmed her mind so she could think back on how she had spent her time during the past day or so. She said that she saw herself doing or saying things that may have been less than kind and she would ask God for forgiveness. She said that she also saw herself doing or saying things that were very kind and she thanked God for giving her the chance to do or say those things and asked for more chances to do or say kind things. Then she said that she "played a movie" in her head of how my sisters and I had grown from little babies. She pictured how we would grow up and have families of our own. She said that she tried to imagine all of the things we would see and do in our lives. I was confused and thought that this must be what old folks do and went on playing around the farm that was full of adventures.

My Mom, the youngest of her 8 children, was the only one to truly move away from the small town. At the time we were living in a suburb of Washington DC and were lucky enough to see and do all kinds of cool things. She knew that my sisters and I would go places and see things that most of our cousins wouldn't. We would live lives that, in her mind, were filled with adventure! You see, my Grandmother lived on the same farm that she moved to when she turned 18 and married my Grandfather. Actually, they married before she was 18, on a roadside in Summerfield, North Carolina. My Grandfather asked that the reverend not send the marriage certificate to the courthouse until January 20th, 1918 which was my Grandmother's 18th birthday. The certificate was found in the archives and the note on the back read something like, "Mr. Davenport asked that I hold onto this until January 20th. The ceremony was held on the roadside in Summerfield and I lost track on this and only just found it in a desk drawer."

My Grandmother lived to be 99 years young and passed away a little over a month before her 100th birthday. As an adult I appreciate how smart she was. Not in the ways of the world, she never even learned to drive a car, but in the ways of the heart and mind. I try to make time to sit and reflect like she did. I hope one day I have a grandchild who watches me as I sit outside in my chair…reflecting. I also hope that child asks me what I’m doing so I can share what I learned from my Grandmother. I will smile because I will know that my grandchild thinks I’m nuts. I will pray that he or she will remember what I said and will come to appreciate the wonderful peace that reflection brings to the heart.

I’m just saying……….